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Why am i scared of vulvas?
I am 15 years old and am curious about sexual experinces with both sexes. When I was abotu 11-12 years old i seen a heterosexual porn mag for the first time, involving images of women exposing their vulvas fully. to me it just looked like a disgusting opening to the body and afterwards, (this sounds extreme) i lost my appetite. Thi happened before i knew anything about sex, anatomy and puberty. Now i am afraid to look at a real vulva becuase i fear it will look disgusting to me again. I've seen women's vulvas in hentai and diagrams before and they seem ok- maybe because they are not real images.? So my question is why am i afraid of vulvas? Is it becuase i am gay?, which leads me on to my next question.

I reguarly masturbate to clothed men in bondage and clothed male butts-particually men in suits - i do not become turned on by naked men or penises. I find it easier to get turned on by gay sex but have had an amazing masturbate over hentai girls that i find attractive, having sex and moaning. Althoug i find it easier to ejaculate when i fantasize about men, i have never expressed any desire to have full on sex with a man, give a ******* or lie with a naked man. I also dont really like looking at penises or feeling them, but can do so when looking at gay porn. Does this whole ide make me gay or am i just a late bloomer?

Thanks for any construtive comments

ok, so i just googled vulva to see wat it actually looks like, and the pic i found was rather disturbing, so yeah, that could be why :P

but at ur age i was in a similar possition. even liked some of the same things as you do, and didnt like penis' thwn. now, im 17, and found out im bi. penis' do grow on you eventually i think, as thats wat happened to me. but u are too young to be worrying about it this much atm. i think its something u just have to wait and see. by all means experiment if you feel the need, but be carefull. :P
and it has been said you dont truly know your sexuallity till you are about 17 - 18, so untill then, i wouldnt rly worry about it.

xo

Might This Be An Indicator That I have a porn addiction?
I can go for weeks/months without looking at porn and then one day all of a sudden will feel compelled to look at some. These urges are often fueled by thoughts of how long its been since I’ve viewed any. So even though I can do without porn for a while I have failed up until this point to remove it from my life. I have a pretty active sex life with a wonderful woman and can masturbate cleanly (without porn or sexual thoughts) so therefore see no reason that I should have to look at porn. My tastes have often gotten disturbingly more extreme over the years. Vanilla sex (male on female) doesn’t typically do it for me unless it has some sort of a theme to it or I watch few different scenes. Lesbian scenes no longer really do it for me unless they are more extreme. I have gotten more into male on female and female on male anal sex, bi-sexual porn (mmf, FFM, FFF,) and even some gay porn and have now leaned more toward medical fetishism and bondage/domination involving people of different genders and orientations. I consider myself straight and pretty vanilla in relationships, and don’t feel I would act on any of these things but the taboo aspect of them excites me to an extend and gets me off faster than watching one or more “traditional scenes” I thought about maybe getting some help but am surprisingly conservative for someone who would write a question like this with so much detail. I believe what goes on behind the bedroom door should stay there and wouldn’t feel comfortable sharing it with someone if my actual name were known. I’m also a well known and respected member of my local community and may run for office someday.

I am a devout Christian and have prayed for deliverance from this sort of behavior, but its almost as though its either a Non issue with God or he views me as a lost cause. Other than this bad habit I am an other wise good person who would do anything to help someone in need.

You don't seem to have an addiction, no.
If you were addicted, you would not be able to go for any period of time without it.
The fact that you can go for weeks or months without it, is telling me that you are definitely NOT addicted.
It is natural to find our taste in porn escalating towards the more outrageous as time goes by. This is just a human need for variety. Of course we're not going to watch the same type of thing over and over. How boring! We need to dip our toes into other waters.
I see that you want to improve your relationship with God by not engaging at all in pornography viewing. I wish I could help you in that regard. I'm struggling with an enormous amount of guilt over the same thing.
Just keep praying. God hears you. He has faith in the strength of your faith. That is why he has given you this burden. You are not a lost cause to God. He sees that you and I are both stronger than we think we are. Unfortunately, our bodies were created to feel sexual cravings and our cravings can be overwhelming most of the time.
What is the solution? Staying busy 24/7?
I have no doubt that you are a good person and a good Christian.